


To The Grave

by Jensregals



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander (TV) RPF, Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Based off another story, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Lust at First Sight, slooooooow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2020-12-27 01:01:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21110102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jensregals/pseuds/Jensregals
Summary: Caitriona Balfe is a professor caught up in the daily motions until Sam drops in from nowhere and turns her world upside down. He finds that he is instantly infatuated with the enigma he calls his professor and will stop at nothing to win her over.





	1. Diligence and Reverie

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [One Youth and Beauty Brigade](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12442992) by [bigfriendlywords](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigfriendlywords/pseuds/bigfriendlywords). 

> Hey guys, so this is my first time writing any type of fanfic, but I just had to do it. I was completely inspired by One Youth and Beauty Brigade and hope I can make a story as well written as that. I currently do not have a Beta so if anyone is interested you know how to find me. But on that note, this will most likely all be raw and unedited so please don't kill me. 
> 
> XoXo -A

Caitriona found that not even the music pouring from her ear buds could drown out the sounds of college students drowning. It was an inherently painful experience, and she wasn't even the one drowning. In fact, she was most likely the one tossing the poor things into the deep end.

One in particular caught her attention. She had been staring into the corner of the library for what felt like an eternity, a scowl permanently etched across her features, and had not touched whatever she had been previously working on.

Caitriona herself often fell victim to the sudden bouts of mindless thinking in which it appeared to the outside world as if you had left your body completely, but she had never seen it happen for such a long time.

With a gentle chuckle she pulled her feet up into the chair with her and situated herself so that they were tucked beneath her. She then turned her attention back to the book she had been reading. She found that she comprehended about a fourth of it, so she once more lifted her gaze to the girl.

Said girl had recovered from her “trip to space,” as Caitriona liked to call it, and was now giving the text book opened before her a look of pure hatred. It was only a matter of time before said book would end up thrown across the room, Caitriona mused. Content with the fact that the girl would work out her issues with her assignment, Caitriona returned to her book and the story unfolding within it.

With her focused restored, she leaned forward into the embrace of the words seeping from the page and brought a thumb to her mouth to nibble on the nail that was already too short from her doing just that. It wasn't a nervous habit, it was more like a quirk that only appeared when she was intently focused on someone or something, yet completely unfocused at the same time. It mostly only happened when she reading, as she found herself transfixed on the smallest details hidden within the words.  
Her reverie was interrupted by the clearing of a throat and a presence occupying the seat across from her.

Tony.

Tony was her colleague, an acquaintance she wished she hadn't made. He was the farthest thing from a friend, let alone a partner, much to his disbelief.

"Balfe, don't you have classes to be teaching and hearts to be breaking?" He said with a self satisfied smirk, as if he had just spoken the single most entertaining thing she had heard all day.  
She fought the urge to roll her eyes and peered at him over the top of her book, her cool blue gaze challenging his boring gray one. " I could say the same for you, Mcgill." She said adopting his forward use of her last name. " Not that you have many people offering you their hearts." She added with a smirk of her own.

He frowned and adjusted himself in the chair as if he was suddenly uncomfortable. " As a matter of fact-" As he began to make some snooty retort that Caitriona could care less about, she held up a hand stopping him mid thought.

" Tony if you don't mind, I was rather enjoying my book."

She turned her attention back to her book hoping that if she ignored him long enough he would go away, but when she glanced up he was still there, staring at her. With a huff she shoved her bookmark into her book and set it down on the table, then she fixed him with the coldest look she could muster.

" Can I help you with something, or are you just trying to annoy me?" She said crossing her arms over her chest and trying not to think about just how good her book was getting. She knew she was acting decidedly childish, but Tony brought out the annoying bratty side of her whether he was trying to or not. He just simply annoyed the ever living hell out of her, which can make a person rather prickly.

" Actually I did come here for something, there is a new student transferring here from Oxford and he has expressed interest in taking your class. Now why anyone would ever be interested in 'the practical uses of botany' baffles even me. " He said, lifting an eyebrow and offering her an entirely fake smile. " Rumor has it he's Scottish." He paused to reflect on some lost details before he landed on a thought. "He starts tomorrow." He added before standing and walking away, finally.

Stuck up arsehole. That was Caitrionas only thought as she watched his figure recede and her eyes found themselves once more fixed on the girl that had been struggling earlier. She now had her head in her hands and looked moments away from having a mental breakdown. With another sigh that seemed to come from somewhere deep within, Caitriona stood and lifted her arms above her head in a back popping stretch. She lifted the bag that had been sitting next to her onto the seat and dropped the blanket she had pulled over her shoulders onto the pile of her belongings, hoping to clearly define the seat as "taken" in case someone tried to steal it.

With a few more stretches and some satisfying pops of her knuckles she began the journey across the library to see if she could save the drowning girl. As she reached the scene of the crime she could tell the situation was a lot worse than she had originally thought. Papers were strewn across every available service, hasty chicken scratch lining almost every sheet. One more step brought her upon the poor girl and she could see now that the textbook open before her contained something to do with physics, and Caitriona knew that she could do nothing except offer a word of advice and gentle reassurance.

Sure she was a college professor, but she drew the line at anything that involved math. Especially the kind that had letters mixed in with it, and the work sitting in front of the girl looked like the purest form of torture. It's no wonder she looked close to ending it all.

" I would offer to help, but I would rather off myself than attempt to do any of that." Caitriona said with a small smile, hoping that her attempt at humor would back the girl off the ledge. Either that or the way the words were delivered themselves. Caitriona still found it fascinating that a big city such as New York could not comprehend that she was from Ireland, or that her accent was distinctly Irish, without fawning over every word and making her repeat random nonsensical things a million times. Though in situations like this that fact became rather useful.

The girl looked up quickly as if startled and a smile spread across her face. " Trust me, I was thinking about it. This assignment is due tomorrow and I've barely started it." She said, and Caitriona couldn't tell if she was entirely joking.

" Ah, well who's your professor? maybe I can sweet talk them into giving you an extension." She said sitting down next to the girl and crossing her legs at the ankles.

" Mcgill." The girl said with a sigh and a grim look crossed her features.

Christ. How did that man weasel his way into everything she did?

Her expression must have revealed her thoughts as the girl let out a small giggle, a knowing look on her own face. " That bad huh? I thought he just liked to terrorize his students, I didn't think he terrorized the teachers too." She said and Caitriona laughed, a deep musical giggle that brought a smile to both of their faces.

" Good god he's insufferable." She said with a shake of her head, her smile lingering. " Professor Balfe, by the way." She said offering a hand to the girl. She usually only gave the students her last name and this girl was no exception, no matter how much they could relate to one another.

" Sophie." The girl smiled and took her hand, giving a firm shake before she returned it to her lap. " Sorry I was so obviously distressed that you felt the need to come over here. I would go to my room and struggle in peace, but I just got a new roommate today and he and all his Scottish friends have been moving things all day." She said with a sigh.

New Scottish roommate? Was this by chance her new student?

" Ah roommates...gotta love em." She said softly, her mind obviously drifting elsewhere. She wondered what he would be like–would he be tall? Hopefully taller than her. She was 5'11 and it seemed as if all of her male colleagues were either shorter than her or just barely reached her height.

Stop it Balfe. It doesn't matter how tall he is, he's going to be your student not your personal eye candy.

But her thoughts kept wandering back to him. 

" So have you seen him? Maybe it won't be so bad if he's cute." She said smiling to cover up her double intentions.  
Sophie suddenly grinned, a quick nod accompanying it. " He's absolutely fu– freaking gorgeous. I saw him and I almost passed out right then and there. I didn't even get his name." She said with a small blush creeping along her cheeks.

Why are you so interested in this man? Stop it. Get up and walk away. Wish her luck.

" Ah well, I wish you luck in all your endeavors." Caitriona said with a wink. She stood and smoothed down her skirt. When she turned to head back to her seat she was intercepted by the chest of a man, her small frame smacking against his much larger one and bouncing off like a pebble on a window. Large hands found her waist and tightened around her like a snake coiling around it's prey, holding her steady.

" Och, sorry lass, are ye alright?"


	2. Off Limits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I already had a second chapter written so I decided I would post it :) 
> 
> -A

Sam had been moving furniture up and down a flight of stairs for the majority of the day, and as he dropped the last box of his belongings onto the floor of his newly acquired bedroom, he began to feel its effects. 

His shirt was clinging to his back and he wanted to get out of his jeans as soon as humanly possible. With a soft sigh he decided to do just that. He made his way down the hall to the upstairs bathroom, pressing the door closed behind him with a soft click. 

He was pleasantly surprised by how large the house was. There was no way in hell he was going to stay in a dormitory, and he couldn't afford a house by himself, so he got immensely lucky when someone posted an ad for a roommate on the college's student Facebook page. Now here he was, two months later and one day from starting his classes. 

He had been planning on coming earlier to get himself situated, but his mom had needed him around the house far longer than he had expected, forcing him to push his departure back a few days. 

A relieved sigh escaped his lips when he pulled his shirt off and let his jeans drop to the tiled bathroom floor. The same relieved sigh was let loose again when the stream of hot water washed over him. He leaned his head against the shower wall and allowed his thoughts to drift as they often do in the shower. 

He had met his roommate earlier—she was cute, but not his type. She was petite and had a head of red hair, though it was much softer tone than his. She had introduced herself as Sophie, and while he had tried to imagine something along the lines of a cute roommate romance, he couldn't fathom being with someone who barely reached his hips. Literally. He was 6'4 and Sophie looked to be about five feet exactly. So he had sadly let the fantasy dissolve. Sophie on the other hand seemed more flustered than a person could rationally be around him, and after about the second round of furniture, she had excused herself to the library to " get some work done." 

He showered off quickly and went back to his room dripping water droplets. He dressed in a simple white t-shirt and jeans and left his hair to curl in its usual fashion, and then he set out on a mission to find the library. 

He may not be attracted to Sophie, but he needed a friend and she was the closest thing he had to one at the moment. 

It was a short walk to the campus from their house, and the sprawling New York sky line made the walk significantly more enjoyable than it already would have been. Walking, along with hiking, was one of his favorite activities. He enjoyed the feeling of his limbs moving, and more often than not there was always something interesting happening along the way..   
On this particular short walk to the library he spotted at least three couples devouring each other, a girl running because she was most likely late to a class, and not one but two dogs. The dogs made it a great walk, the other two were just intriguing. 

As he started to reach the main building he stopped a man jogging and asked for directions to the library, where he then followed the direction of the man's finger to a large building in the center of campus. People were milling about around the outside and a constant stream went in and out, a few in a hurry and most looking utterly defeated. 

He followed through the open door behind a crowd of students and stepped into a large sitting area where plush chairs with coffee tables were strewn about. The chairs were surrounded on all sides by rows and rows of books, and as he glanced up he saw that there were even more on a second and third floor. There was a massive sky light that filtered down on the square area and the corresponding balconies of the other floors and it gave the room a sort of ethereal glow. 

He began to walk further into the room, scanning the various chairs and shelves for a sight of his redhead roommate, and was just about to give up the search when he more or less slammed right into someone. 

The someone which he quickly found to be feminine in nature had flattened herself against his chest and promptly bounced off losing her balance and nearly toppling over. To save her from the embarrassment, he grabbed ahold of her hips and steadied her, the words coming to his lips before he had even had the time to properly see the figure he had just ran into. 

" Och, sorry lass, are ye alright?" 

With his words, her hands slid along his arms and grasped where they could find a steady hold and she lifted her head, her breaths coming in short little bursts. When he met her gaze it was as if his soul had been sucked from his body and had jumped into hers. Her eyes were the most brilliant shade of blue he had ever seen and her lips seemed to beckon to him. They were red and had an indentation from where she had bitten the bottom one when they collided. And then she smiled and he thought he had died and gone to heaven right then and there. 

" Yes, yes I'm fine thank you." She said her voice smooth like honey making the familiar Irish accent more seductive than he was used to. Her words clipped and lilted in the most adorable places and her lips seemed to curve a different way with the pronunciation of each letter. 

The next thing he noticed was how tall she was. The top of her head met his temple and most of her seemed to be made of leg, which were on full display beneath her thin white cotton dress. Every part of her was long and lanky, to the extent that she reminded him of a ballerina. The next observation that followed her legs was her skin. She was pale but not a sickly pale, her skin seemed to glow like the finest of pearls and he found himself imagining what every bit of that skin looked like; and how it would feel pressed against his body. 

" Are you okay? I ran into you like a freight train on a collision course." She said with a gentle giggle, her hands moving from where they rested on his arms to his chest and then to a spot on his shoulder, lightly touching him as if checking if he was okay. 

Her touch sent sparks of electricity through his body, no matter how gentle it actually was. She could have just been looking at him and he would have felt as if she had lit his body on fire.   
" Aye lass, I'm braw." He said with a grin to match the one that spread across her face as he confirmed that he was fine. She was thin enough that she could have body slammed him with all of her weight and he would have felt nothing more than a tickle. 

" Okay good, well uh.." she paused, nibbling on her lower lip and glancing over her shoulder towards Sophie, " It was nice to meet you." She finished and stepped away from him and made her way back to the chair that she had previously been occupying. Sam’s gaze lingered on her while she collected her stuff and made her way to the exit, and would have stayed on the door if Sophie hadn't cleared her throat. 

" Damn, I was going to try and shoot my shot with you but I can now see that I don't have a chance in hell." She said offering him a knowing grin. " That my dear lad is Professor Caitriona Balfe, completely hot, and completely off limits." She said and met his gaze as he plopped into the seat next to her and buried his face in his hands. 

" That obvious huh?" he questioned after a moment and Sophie snorted causing Sam to abruptly raise his head and fix her with a questioning look. 

" Dude I could smell the lust wafting off the two of you from a mile away." She said closing her physics text book and adjusting her position in the chair. " She had actually been helping me with my homework before you so rudely almost crushed her, and she seemed very curious about you." She said chuckling. 

“In three years, I’ve never seen her talk as much as she did when asking me about you just now, nor have I ever seen her legitimately flustered, which she totally was by the way." Sophie kept talking, and after a while the topic gradually drifted from Caitriona to physics, then to chicken nuggets, then back to physics, and then eventually to plans for returning home. 

The whole time Sam hadn't been able to get a word in. Not like he really wanted to anyways, he was too occupied with thoughts of Caitriona. The pearl skinned lass who had managed to make him feel as if he had fallen completely head over heels in a matter of seconds. He could still feel her hips pressed against his palms and her fingers fluttering over his chest like butterfly kisses.

Good god this woman was going to be the death of him. 

He just knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you so much for reading and for commenting all of your feedback and opinions, but on that note I have received several comments saying that my story " does not belong " in the Outlander fandom. I completely respect that view and I also completely understand that Sam and Caitriona are not dating and never have, I literally only write this story because they are cute and I want to but Outlander, like it or not, is how the people who believe in that ship found it. Using the Outlander tag is how people will find this story, nothing more, nothing less. 
> 
> With love, A.


	3. Best Kept Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caitriona reveals a little more about herself and Sam falls down a rabbit hole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, just warning you this chapter earns this stories mature rating. You also might not be happy with me but I promise all will be explained. 
> 
> XoXo - A

If there was one thing Caitriona knew how to do, and do well, it was to drink. It didn't matter what it was, as long as it smelled appealing she would down it and move on to the next. This process was how she found herself beyond the point of drunk and verging on the precipice of wasted.

With a low giggle she tipped back another foul smelling shot and flung her arms around the neck of the person closest to her, which in her case happened to be her best friend Lotte. She slowly swayed her hips in time with the music, her lips puckered in a concentrated pout.

" Caitriona you are drunk off your ass!" Lotte screamed into her ear, eliciting another giggle from the friend that was now staring over her the other girls shoulder at some man in the distance. She mumbled something along the lines of "going in," and practically floated over to the man she had set her sights on. As she neared the man she lifted her dress a few inches up revealing more of the pale expanse of her thighs and let her hair down from the ponytail it had been in, the brown locks cascading around her shoulders.

" I take it that you staring was just your way of offering me a drink?" She said as she pressed the length of her body against him, a drunken nibble of her lip adding to the allure. The man grinned at her and tugged her towards the bar.

Before she knew it she was back in the middle of the dance floor, a drink clutched in one fist and her newly acquired puppy dog pressed against her ass. She leaned back against his chest and lifted an arm above his head, wiggling her hips against him. His hands traveled across her thighs and then her hips before coming to stop along her front, holding her against him. 

~~~

Sam was positive that Sophie was attempting to get him drunk and murder him. That was the only possible explanation for him ending up in the middle of a nightclub stiff and unmoving as a rock while Sophie flounced around him. Either that or it was some form of divine torture because the girl could not dance to save her life. 

" Sophieeeee I want to go home." Sam whined into her ear when she got close enough to hear him. She simply rolled her eyes grabbed his hands spinning him around with her. As they spun he let his gaze trail across the crowd of people flashing in the lights, and then he stopped short, unmoving despite Sophies meek protests. 

" Sam what the hell are you-" she stopped short when she followed his gaze to what had frozen him in his tracks, or rather who. 

" Oh. My. God." Sophie practically shouted, doing a perfect imitation of Janis from Friends. " Is that Professor Balfe?" She shouted while trying to catch Sams gaze, but he was obviously distracted by the view in front of him. 

Caitriona had ditched her drink and was now pressed completely against the man, her arms wrapped around his neck and her breasts pressed into his chest, her hips moving in lewd motions against him. After a moment he leaned down to say something into her ear and she smirked, and then they were kissing as if the world was going to end in the next ten minutes. His hands found her ass as the kiss got more intense, and then with a flash of a light they were gone. 

" Holy fuck." Sophie whispered turning to face sam, who not surprisingly, was standing there slack jawed and shocked. 

" Agreed," was all Sam managed to finally choke out. 

~~~

" Fuck, you're the hottest woman I have ever seen in my life." The man choked out as Caitriona slammed him back against the wall in the small closet they had found. She smirked before capturing his lips again and moving her hands to unbutton his pants, her slim fingers making quick work of the belt and zipper. She released his mouth to allow him to step out of them and tugged her own panties down. The man growled and lifted her by her thighs turning them so that she was pressed against the wall, and as she found his lips again he thrust into her. 

She moaned as he entered her and threw her head back against the wall, tightening her legs around his waist as he drove in deeper. Her fingers found their way into his hair and she fastened her mouth onto his shoulder to keep a scream from escaping. 

~~~

Sams plan had been to go to the bathroom, and now he was lost. The music started to fade as he wandered farther and farther, and when he heard noises coming from behind a door he figured bathroom, like an idiot. 

He pushed the door open and was met with the sight of Professor Balfe wrapped around the man she had been dancing with, and if it wasn't bad before, she was looking straight at him. 

He could tell she recognized him because a moment of fear rippled behind those sky colored eyes. It then disappeared as a wave of pleasure washed over the two of them and she released an onslaught of wee noises. Slowly she sank back against the wall, her legs sliding down the mans back and her hands dropping from his hair. 

Sam didn't stay to see more. 

~~~

Morning hit Caitriona like a freight train. She groaned against the light filtering through her curtains and rolled onto her other side, her alarm clock blinking at her from her nightstand.

She groaned again and buried her face under a pillow, a wave of nausea washing over her. Apparently she hadn't thrown up enough the night before. As the nausea reached it's peak she let out a gagging squeak and threw herself over the side of her bed where she proceeded to spill the contents of her stomach into the trashcan waiting there. 

" Looks like someone is awake." Lotte said entering the room with a tray of food and a suspicious looking green smoothie. 

" Get up and eat something and then pull yourself together. You have a class at one today." She said setting the tray on the nightstand. She then grabbed Caitriona's hand and wrapped it around the smoothie glass. 

" Drink this too, it will help with all of.. well all of that." She said gesturing to Caitrionas current state. With that she was gone, and Caitriona was left to her own devices.  
With a heavy sigh she took a long sip of the smoothie, gagged, and then got out of bed. From her position next to the bed she could see her reflection in the mirror, and what she saw didn't shock her, even though it should have. Her thin frame looked positively frail compared to the old clothes Lotte had thrown on her and the dark shadows under her eyes hollowed out her face to an almost sickly extent. 

On top of it all her body hurt. She felt like she had been trampled on and beaten up all at the same time, and as Lotte had informed her, it was all of her own doing. 

She stood there continuing to stare at herself, her emotions running haywire and her brain moving too fast to comprehend. She felt nothing and everything at the same time. She felt shame, she felt tired, she felt sick, and most of all she was scared. She was scared of the consequences that would come. 

She was scared of what that red headed scottish highlander was going to think of her now.

“Look what you’ve done now,” She whispered as she stepped closer to the mirror. She stopped an inch from touching the mirror and stared back at her own reflection, shadows darkening her gaze. 

“ You just can’t stay sober can you? Can’t deal with your past for one fucking night huh Balfe?” She whispered her lips curling in a scowl, her strikingly pretty face morphing into one that carried great secrets, a great burden. 

With a sudden unexplained burst of anger she slammed her palm against the mirror, causing it to spiral into a million cracks. 

“ Caitriona I forgot to tell you-” Lotte walked back into the room and stopped mid sentence focusing her gaze on the mirror and then on Caitriona who was staring at the floor as if it had done something to her. 

“ What..” she trailed off stepping closer to Caitriona glancing between her friend and the mirror. 

“ Get out Lotte.” Caitriona whispered, softer than silk. 

“ Caitriona what is happening? Why did you-” 

“ Lotte I said get out.” Caitriona repeated looking up to stare into Lotte’s eyes. 

“ Caitriona I am not going to leave until you tell me what is happening, you could have-” 

“ Lotte I said get the fuck out!” Caitriona suddenly shouted. When Lotte didn’t move she picked up her hairbrush that was sitting on the desk next to the mirror and chucked it at Lotte with an ear splitting scream. 

The brush hit the floor with the same sound as Lotte’s feet as she ran from the room, and then Caitriona screamed again. 

The mirror shattered when Lotte slammed the door downstairs, and so did a piece of Caitriona.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so... I'm sorry about this rollercoaster lol. I promise it will get cute and fluffy soon but I had introduce some sort of plot. As always let me know what you think :) 
> 
> -A


	4. The Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just what exactly is going on inside Caitriona's mind? And can Sam figure it out or will he be cast aside just like Lotte?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait and the shortness, enjoy and as always leave comments and feedback :) 
> 
> Love you guys!

Caitriona

When the door of Caitrionas classroom was closed the small space could morph into a fortress of solitude, the empty seats bearing witness to the open ended questions spoken to the ghosts, and the ghosts alone.

It was her safe place, her tether to reality, the closest thing she had to a real home. 

So there she sat 30 minutes before her class was supposed to start, her forehead pressed against the cold wood of her desk and her arms stretched out above her head, gripping the side. She had been holding on for so long her knuckles were white and she was positive she had a splinter in her middle finger, but she wasn’t going to move. Not until she had to. 

With each breath her body relaxed until her hands hung limp and the pounding in her head softened. A long sigh escaped her lips just as a gasp escaped another. 

Caitriona sat up in her chair and turned her gaze to the person the sound came from, a pair of shining blue eyes finding her own. 

“ Professor Balfe, I didna mean to interrupt.” A thick scottish voice filled the room and surrounded the peace she had been building herself, but she didn’t mind the intrusion. His accent calmed her in a way, comforting her like a warm blanket.

“ You weren’t interrupting, Mr. Heughan.” She said softly. She stood and ran a hand through her hair, glancing around the room before focusing back on Sam, who had been watching her intently. 

“ Is there something I can help you with?” She questioned as she stepped out from behind her desk and wrapped her arms around herself as if she was cold.  
Sam stared at her for a moment and then shook his head, as if clearing a train of thought. 

“ I just like to come early.” He said with a small smile. He moved further into the room and found a spot at one of the desks, setting his bags down he turned back towards her. “ I can leave if you would prefer me to.” He said searching her gaze for hints that she would want him to leave. 

“ No Mr. Heughan, you’re okay.” She said crossing to the windows to open the blinds. Even with her back turned she knew he was watching her, she could feel his gaze traveling over her body, but for some reason she didn’t mind. She pulled the string and the blinds flung open flooding the room with light. She moved on and opened the rest, pausing in one where she could see his reflection behind her. He was still looking at her, and slowly his eyes found her face in the window. When they made eye contact a chill went through her body and she quickly looked down. 

When she looked back up she met her own gaze and images of the pieces of shattered mirror covering her bedroom floor flooded through her senses. She sucked in a large breath through her nose and quickly turned around, trying to erase the emotion from her features. To show nothing. It was a process that had taken a long time to master, and if the emotion was strong enough someone watching could see the transformation as clear as day. 

She hoped Sam was not watching close enough. 

When she returned to her desk she leaned against the outside and found his gaze once more, her teeth digging into her bottom lip. God he was attractive. It wasn’t the casual attractive that one could ignore, it was the burning hot that made women into girls and girls into fiends. It was the copper colored hair and the soft stubble lining his jaw. It was those god forsaken eyes, eyes so blue that they could rival the ocean. 

“ I uh- I am surprised you are here today.” Sam said, the sound of his voice breaking the silence that had filled the room. 

With his words it was as if her entire demeanor changed, her expression becoming stony and her eyes flashing as if the sky caught within them had caught on fire. “ What makes you say that Mr. Heughan?” She questioned as she rose from the edge of her desk and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“ Well it’s just that last night I saw you with that man and-you..” 

“ Stop.” Caitriona turned on him like the devil had taken over her body, yet she remained entirely calm. It was a cold anger, one of the most dangerous kinds. 

“ What happens in my personal life is none of your concern, just like your personal life is none of my concern. I would advise you to remember that.” She said with a twitch of her lips like she wanted to say more but stopped herself. 

And then she left, leaving him alone in the silence that lingered until people began to fill the classroom. 

Sam 

Sam had always tried to be early to his classes since high school, he found that it gave him an advantage over all the other students. It also allowed him to forge a deeper connection with his teachers, which in this case was something he was definitely not opposed to doing. 

He hadn’t been able to stop thinking of what he saw the night before, the image of her face crumpling from pleasure was frozen in his mind. He wanted to be the one giving her that pleasure, the one her thighs were wrapped around. He wanted to feel her fingers wrapped in his hair, feel the smooth skin of her thighs and the pressure of her lips on his. 

He had woken the night before drenched in sweat with his hand wrapped around his cock, the images of her driving him to an absolute frenzy. Then he felt sick. Sick for thinking of his professor like that, sick of thinking of her at all. But the problem is that he can’t stop himself, she fills his every thought whether he wants her to or not. 

He entered the classroom slowly, hoping that she was already here and that they could possibly have a conversation, and what he saw threw his senses into overload. 

She was bent over her desk, her arms outstretched above her head and hanging off the side, her dark brown hair splayed across her shoulders, and a patch of skin showing from where her shirt had inched up along her waist. 

He must have made a noise because she sat up and looked at him, her eyes capturing him as if he was her prey. He stood there immobile until she stood and began to move around the room. Her movements were elegant yet fragile at the same time, her long legs carried her with grace, yet her arms were wrapped around her waist and her head was bowed as if in defeat. She was the complete opposite of both what he had seen at the library and at the bar the night before, it was as if each day a new Caitriona Balfe came and went. 

As he made his way to a desk they made small talk, his eyes never leaving her, and hers doing their best to avoid him. She seemed sad today, like she was thinking too loud and yet her thoughts couldn’t drown out the silence. 

She seemed lonely, if that was even something another person could tell about someone else. 

As the conversation lulled to a stop Sam made a last ditch effort to conserve it, “ I uh- I am surprised you are here today.” 

And with that one sentence all pretense of civility or even friendliness faded like an old pair of blue jeans and everything about her darkened, her tone, her gaze, he even suspected her mind did the same. 

And then she was gone, like a ship in the night, gone. 

She came back nearly fifteen minutes later with stony eyes and a fake smile plastered on her face. She taught her class with no passion, no emotion, it was like she wasn’t truly there, perhaps she was disconnected from her body and floating in some corner of the room, or on a beach in her happy place. 

Or as Sam suspected perhaps she was truly gone, hiding in some dark hole inside herself waiting for the sun to lure her out. 

Whatever it was Sam could see that she needed help, she needed someone to be her sun. 

So the sun he would be.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi its me again, I just wanted to let you know that you are welcome to comment feedback ALWAYS and I apologize for this being so short. 
> 
> -A


End file.
